User Profile
Add Friend
Add Note
Track User
Send Message
Send V-Gift
Metamorpha_me
delicate, complicated, evolution into me
Created on 2006-07-05 13:57:54 (#10599497), last updated 2006-11-28
8 comments received, 4 comments posted
Basic Account [Gift]
15 Journal Entries, 0 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 3 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | metamorpha_me |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | 1976 |
| Location: | Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States |
| Website: | Main journal |
BioThis is journal #3. If you count my blog on blogger.com it is journal #4. I don't ever want to delete my others - they all serve a purpose to me. But each time I want to start something new I just do .... journal wise at least.
I had gastric bypass surgery on 3/06/2006. It is the BEST thing I have ever done for myself, for my health, for my life. I have ALWAYS been a fat/chubby/overweight/morbidly obese girl. I started to have health problems a few years ago and was so fed up with them. I have tried my whole life to lose weight and get healthier. You name it I did it -- Jenny Craig, nutritionists, Weight Watchers (NUMEROUS times), metabolife, phen fen (short stint - hated it), etc. I would drop 20-30 pounds and then nothing, even after months of following the program and exercising. I did every sport/exercise imaginable as a fat kid -- something should have worked, right? My metabolism seems to be ultra low. Nothing did. For a year I thought about gastric bypass as I saw people around me able to have a life again after having the surgery. After a lot of research and self-thought I started the process 11/1/05. I had surgery 3/6/06.
I'm 4 months out now, down 100 pounds. I'm all for accountability so I'll let you in on a little secret -- I was 367 at my highest which was a BMI of somewhere about 57.5 I think. Now, I am still at about 42.1 (meaning I still qualify for surgery without co-morbidities). I'm nowhere near done losing weight yet, but I'm struggling with who I am, who I've become, and who I'm yet to become.
That's why I created this journal. I'm metamorphing into something else every single day. I'm discovering things about myself I'd long covered up. I'm learning new things. I'm beginning to like myself a little more, but also beginning to question myself a million times more than I ever did. I feel like I'm in a little funk emotionally too. I have to actually deal with my feelings now and learn how to communicate what I feel. I don't smoke anymore, can't drink, am not violent, and cannot eat anymore when things get hard, stressful, etc. The eating thing has been hard. I never considered myself an emotional eater, but I guess I was....
I have wonderful support, thankfully. I have a wonderful partner (I consider her my wife), Nick who has been wonderful in supporting me, researching, and just a guiding light through everything. Oh, yeah, I'm gay by the way - a big ol' lesbian who no one ever thinks is one because I'm more femme than butch. I've been out for about 12 years and never looked back. I don't judge people and I expect the same of anyone who befriends me - k?
Anyhoo, This is me, changing and a chronicle (maybe)of who I become.
I had gastric bypass surgery on 3/06/2006. It is the BEST thing I have ever done for myself, for my health, for my life. I have ALWAYS been a fat/chubby/overweight/morbidly obese girl. I started to have health problems a few years ago and was so fed up with them. I have tried my whole life to lose weight and get healthier. You name it I did it -- Jenny Craig, nutritionists, Weight Watchers (NUMEROUS times), metabolife, phen fen (short stint - hated it), etc. I would drop 20-30 pounds and then nothing, even after months of following the program and exercising. I did every sport/exercise imaginable as a fat kid -- something should have worked, right? My metabolism seems to be ultra low. Nothing did. For a year I thought about gastric bypass as I saw people around me able to have a life again after having the surgery. After a lot of research and self-thought I started the process 11/1/05. I had surgery 3/6/06.
I'm 4 months out now, down 100 pounds. I'm all for accountability so I'll let you in on a little secret -- I was 367 at my highest which was a BMI of somewhere about 57.5 I think. Now, I am still at about 42.1 (meaning I still qualify for surgery without co-morbidities). I'm nowhere near done losing weight yet, but I'm struggling with who I am, who I've become, and who I'm yet to become.
That's why I created this journal. I'm metamorphing into something else every single day. I'm discovering things about myself I'd long covered up. I'm learning new things. I'm beginning to like myself a little more, but also beginning to question myself a million times more than I ever did. I feel like I'm in a little funk emotionally too. I have to actually deal with my feelings now and learn how to communicate what I feel. I don't smoke anymore, can't drink, am not violent, and cannot eat anymore when things get hard, stressful, etc. The eating thing has been hard. I never considered myself an emotional eater, but I guess I was....
I have wonderful support, thankfully. I have a wonderful partner (I consider her my wife), Nick who has been wonderful in supporting me, researching, and just a guiding light through everything. Oh, yeah, I'm gay by the way - a big ol' lesbian who no one ever thinks is one because I'm more femme than butch. I've been out for about 12 years and never looked back. I don't judge people and I expect the same of anyone who befriends me - k?
Anyhoo, This is me, changing and a chronicle (maybe)of who I become.
ConnectInterests (85):
ani difranco, big brother, blogging, bois, books, boston terrier chihuahua mixes, butches, camping, cats, celeb trash magazines, changes, chocolate labs, coffee, coffee shops, committment ceremonies, concerts, cooking, craigslist, cruiser bikes, dar williams, dog parks, dogs, drama, dyke drama, dykes, e-mail, earning money, ellen degeneres, er, family, femmes, fishing, gastric bypass, gay, gay marriage, gay rights, healthy eating, healthy living, hello kitty, hgtv, home ownership, indigo girls, job searching, journaling, kissing, lane bryant, lesbian sex, lesbians, lori mckenna, love, malls, massachusetts, melissa etheridge, minnesota, movies, music, net surfing, north dakots, photography, poetry, queer as folk, reading, reality tv, remodeling, road trips, rosie o'donnell, sex, shoes, shopping, spending money, support, talking and compromise, the amazing race, the l word, tlc, torrid, tracy chapman, understanding myself, up north, walking, wls, women, women mystery writers, women sleuths, writing
Friends [View Entries] Friends (8):
fatfemmedyke, jen4luck, mysmokeymirror, pocketsofnickel, soyouthink, unknownpoet78, weightlosslesbo, zestfive
Mutual Friends (5):
Communities [View Entries] Watching (0)
Feeds [View Entries] Watching (0)
